Is “whom” old-fashioned? Stodgy? Is Stodgy considered stodgy?

When an editor and high school friend used “who” instead of “whom” on social media and I corrected her, she doubled-down on ignorance.

I see writers, editors, and literary agents on Substack using “who” as the object of their sentences. Each time, my hand twitches as I stop myself from grabbing a red pen to note the correction on my screen.

Do I let it go? Like when people now say, “ I’m doing good,” when they mean to say, “I’m doing well.” Or when the supermarkets light up their erroneous “8 items or less” when “8 items or fewer” would be much more celebrated. At which junction box in the fiberoptic line does me sending an invitation turn into someone receiving an invite?

What some may call grammar policing, I’m merely trying to understand the shift to adjectives describing verbs, the nounification of verbs, etc. The English language has evolved from the intended dilemma of, “eat my cake and have it, too” to the now zero-consequence of having the cake in order to eat it. Grammar rules will continue to change in the coming years when our current language will sound as stilted to our descendants as 1950s vernacular sounds to us.