I want to publish this book. I've been working on it for 31 years. I have envisioned the moment when Arlinda's biography is in print, and there is nothing more I can do to fix the content. Yet for all my desire to complete this task, doubt still gives me pause.

I'm at the stage of the publication process where all of the edits have been made. Each read-through yields fewer changes. There might still be some areas that could do with more clarity, or better phrasing, but it is pretty much done.

I have written release forms for each of the living characters in the biography. I have created files from the manuscript with collated scenes where that character appears. Everything is ready to go, but I'm not sending out these files and forms.

I doubt myself. Am I showing them in a manner that they may object to? Is their role in Arlinda's story significant enough? For the parts where the characters might be working at cross-purposes with Arlinda (including myself), am I redeeming them enough so they are not portrayed as a villain?Am I doing right by Arlinda's memory?

My response is: Oh, I need to separate this subordinate clause and make it its own sentence. When all else fails, avoid the subject, and stew in my regret.

I want to believe in myself, that my writing is strong enough, that the story is greater than any one supportive role in Arlinda's life. I'm going to send those files out this week. This article releases on Friday, when I expect the release form task will be done. May my accountability be stronger than my fear.